Semiquincentennial Blues

By Mychal Denzel SmithJuly 3, 2026

We have passed the point at which absurdity is an aberration. The Monster Energy and Crypto.com sponsorships for the evening: very real. The female quotient including no women fighters, only the “Octagon girls” in sequined hotpants and velvet bodices: also real. The United States Marine Band playing a rendition of “The Boys Are Back in Town": too real. A fighter operating under the moniker Black Beast: painfully real. The Black Beast losing to someone who took his victory speech as an occasion to announce, “Michelle Obama is a man! Am I right, America?”: still real.

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Real Canadian DNA

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